UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-Being a Wife is not for Sissies
The last 2 months I have had many conversations with women all across our wonderful nation of Canada. Whenever I speak at conferences on the topic of relationships, many women take the opportunity to talk to me about their marriages. I confess that right now my heart is just about breaking with the horrific reasons for so many recent divorces. It is not easy being a wife when husbands have so much liberal free access to pornography on the internet. It’s a free drug accessible 24 hours a day and it is breaking up marriages. Many men actually go one step further and have affairs.
What wife can measure up to the air brushed women that are paid to act seductively? It makes me angry that so many wives feel they have to harness this ugly secret so that no shame will fall on their children and families. What woman should have to carry that kind of burden? This is a rampant disease that is affecting many marriages but I believe it is especially difficult for Christian wives to carry this burden because so many of them feel they have nowhere to turn. After doing extensive research on this topic, here is what I feel the women need to do.
Do your own research on his topic so that you can take the shame off your shoulders and recognize that it is not your fault. The seed for this need in your husband probably happened when he was very young and it has turned into a full blown addiction.
- The revealing of feeling is the first step to healing. Talk frankly and openly to your husband/or significant other about this.
- Get help. Both of you need counseling. The woman needs it so that she can release her own shame; but also to know how to help her husband.
- There may be accountability courses offered right in your own church or community as this is becoming a well known and rampant problem. Ask your pastor, goggle information or talk to a close friend.
- This will probably take a long time.
- If your husband will not get help and he will not change, you will have to decide if you can survive under these circumstances. You know by now that I am a solid advocate for marriage, but not if it will destroy your soul and your families.
When the official Nehemiah was helping the people in Jerusalem rebuild their broken down city walls, and they got tired and discouraged, he said to them; “Don’t be afraid! Remember your God is great and glorious. Fight for your friends, your families and your homes” (Nehemiah 4:14 NLT).
Those are words of encouragement to you. It’s not always easy being a wife, but let me encourage you to take some bold steps to rebuild your marriage by bringing back some much needed honest and open communication. Build on your marriage so that it can flourish…and not die a slow, unexpected and unnecessary death.