It’s a gift to be able to enjoy life by learning to live in the moment. But perhaps we’ve taken this too far. Even though we’ve overused the words “instant gratification”, I believe there is value in unpacking its dangers when it encroaches on our marriage and family life. Let me explain.
Even as I am writing this, I am sitting by the bedside of my 88 year old mother who will soon come face to face with Jesus. Over the past week many of our family members have flown in to express their good-bye to this extraordinary woman.She is not extraordinary because of her many accomplishments. She never wrote a book, won any prizes, or made the newspaper headlines for some notorious act of valor or media releases.But she soaked our family with love through her unfailing prayers and gratefulness. Just this morning she softly breathed the words, “Our family is one big love affair.” My mother is leaving behind a legacy of love,prayer and resiliency. Through the many outrageously difficult times she encountered, she never allowed her selfish “instant gratification” feelings to sabotage her marriage or family.
Throughout my many conversations with my children this past week, we agreed that to leave a legacy of a resilient and loving marriage, we need to “play the movie forward”. If we really believe we married for better or for worse,until death parts us, what does that look like?
1. Is this (whatever it is in the moment) “self gratification” hurting my family?
2. If I give in to my selfish feelings, how will I feel about the way I acted next week, next month or next year?
3. What do I want my marriage to look like in 10 years…at the end do my life?
4. Realize your spouse has not been placed on this earth to bring you all the happiness, pleasure and fun you think you deserve. We all need to find that within ourselves through our relationship ship with our loving Heavenly Father.
5. If I do this (self gratification thing)…will I have regret?
All of us will come to that place where my mother is right now. Even though life has not been easy for her, she is a woman who has loved well and has the “peace that surpasses all understanding” (Philippians 4:7 NIV). She is ready to leave this earth having lived a life of no regrets.
Isn’t this what you and I want? If we do, then we need to play the movie forward right now. Let’s ask ourselves this question. “If I continue to act this way, will I leave the kind of legacy that will bring value and honor to my marriage and family.”
It’s never too late to start.