BEAUTY TIP #24 – Put “delicious” back in your Relationships

Nothing creates more discussion, joy, heartache and confusion than; relationships. In spite of the fact that we are saturated with information, surveys, studies, workshops on relationships in friendship and marriage, we are extremely cautious and even more isolated.

 In my next book, called SAND TO PEARLS: Making Bold Choices to Enrich your Life, (Release date-January 2011) I devote two chapters on the topic of friendship. This subject always causes the greatest conversation, heartache and mystery when I speak to women across Canada.  In each of us there are basic needs, and when they are met, we can have vibrant, lasting relationships.  Here are my top nine needs, and I am sure most of them will be yours as well:

I NEED YOU TO:

1. Listen to me. I mean pay attention, look me in the eyes, nod now and then (not drifting off to sleep kind of nodding) but “wide awake” attentiveness with the ears and heart.

2. Accept me for who I am. Don’t try to change me, fix me, or make me into a clone of your liking.

3. Let go of unrealistic expectations of me. Don’t build an image in your head of what you “think I should do/not do”. This your perception of life…not mine.

4. Believe in my dreams. As whacky as they can be some time, I believe God has given all of us a creative mind and we need to let our friends help us explore them. We all need someone to tell us that we are the “little red train that could.”

5. Treat me with value.  We all love it when someone says, “You are the most wonderful person I have ever met!” We are all God’s magnificent creations. The bible tells us in Hebrews 2: verses 7 and 9 that we are made  just a little lower than the angels.  Try and wrap your head around that one and then treat someone with distain.

6. Forgive me when I mess up. I mess up quite a bit, not intentionally, but perhaps because of my eagerness with life. I don’t mean to ever, ever hurt anyone, but I know I do and I need to be forgiven. I mean forgiven so that we can look each other in the eyes again. Try and catch your pain before you give resentment the opportunity to put a wedge between us.

7. Laugh with me. Laugher is my medicine that pushes away the darkest clouds, lifts my heaviness and gives me a new perspective on a tough, confusing day.  When I am going through a rough time my friends have heard me say, “Let’s do something that will make us laugh.”

8. Help me. I spend my life devoted to helping other people, but when it is my turn and I ask you to help me; I really need you to step up and help.

9. Show me how to grow.  I need people around me that model Gods extravagant love for me. At the end of our life we will realize that love is the only thing that holds the rest of the 9 needs together.

 Yet, if loving were easy, everyone would be doing it. There would be no wars, divorces, partnership break-ups, murders, anger and pain.

 “My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves” (1 John 3:18, 20 MSG).

 If we put these nine steps into practice; buckle up your seat belt…you’re in for a “delicious” love ride.

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2 Responses to “BEAUTY TIP #24 – Put “delicious” back in your Relationships”

  1. Good advice! I want to read your new book when it comes out!

  2. Heidi ~

    You nailed it. We do need all those things from each other. Women in general have become so rooster-like. LOL! That’s what I call it. Walking around with their chests stuck out, just daring someone to mess with them. I see it over and over. [[shudder]] Goodness, that isn’t beauty unveiled … it is wounded, unhealed spirits protecting themselves from further hurt.

    God, make us truly beautiful. Heal us through our loving relationships.

    Candy

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