UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- Football and Tim Tebow OR: Say “YES” to the Dress

There must be a bit of Cinderella syndrome in us. I confess that every once in a while I love to curl up with my duvet and watch several episodes of Say “yes” to the Dress. I know it’s corny; but there is something magical about watching a woman emerge from a dressing room in a vision of sequence, pearls, silk and layers of beading and stitched elegance. It’s what we envisioned, talked about, practiced from the time we were little girls. Even though we may have already experienced our own enchanted, glorious wedding day, we can still live vicariously through a T.V. show.

Unfortunately getting our husbands to watch a show with endless wedding dresses was not part of his wedding vows when we exchanged promises to honor, cherish and obey. Neither did we agree to sign up for watching football three days a week. Don’t get me wrong; I really do love football, but I must confess that after about 3 hours I am not that interested in how many yards Tim Tebow rushed and the interpretation of each penalty. I want to ask, “So is it true that so and so bought his wife a 2 million dollar diamond ring?” I know that men just don’t get that. There really should be other covenants in the marriage vows for our husbands to sign off on. Such as:

1.         That you will go Christmas shopping with me.

2.         That you will listen to me blabber endlessly about my job when I get home at night.

3.         That you know how to pitch socks into a clothes hamper at 15 feet.

4.         That you know how to change a light bulb in a clothes dryer.

5.         That you will know when I am tired and need help around the house.

6.         That you can interpret my “no’s when I mean “yes.”

There are some things worth fighting for, and some we need to let go. By now we realize we are different people, and God has put us together in a marriage to learn from each other, to grow stronger, and to sandpaper each other so that we can become better people.  

There are some things that give women pleasure that men simply won’t understand. That’s OK, because for those things we have our girlfriends. Nobody understands us better than girlfriends. We just have to talk, and nobody can laugh or cry over nothing like girlfriends. If we spent 4 hours with a girlfriend watching a football game, we would probably re-design their uniforms, try to imagine what their wives and lives are like, and laugh about…well anything. Our husbands will probably never understand how we can talk for hours and not come up with any solutions or fix anything. We are women; we need to talk and watch sitcoms with lots of wedding dresses.  Men don’t need to talk, they want to watch football and fix things.

I am so grateful that my husband will sit with me through at least one episode of “Say YES to the Dress”, but soon he slips away and next I know he’s watching football. That’s OK-we let each other have freedom to enjoy those things our brains are wired for. 

But the wedding vows did say to “cherish”; and that’s what we should do. The Greek word for cheris is “Thalpo”… to soften by heat, as of birds covering their young with their feathers. To foster tender care as of Christ and the Church.”  It is the “heat” in our marriage that has the potential help us understand soften our thoughts and actions toward our husbands. It is to cherish all the wonderful things they do in our marriage-and there are so many. When we take the time to write down all the things we are grateful for in our marriage, we will realize we really do have wonderful husbands. For those things they don’t enjoy doing with us; well thank goodness for our girlfriends.

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