UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “Be Strong Princess”

My heart was heavy and my feet felt like lead as I shuffled my way down the hallway of our local General Hospital.  My mother had fallen again and this time I was not sure that we would fully recover.  Beside me in the hallway was a young woman with the same plodding footsteps, shoulders slumped; and she was carrying a plastic bag that revealed items meant to cheer up and encourage a sick person. Then I heard the shout behind me, “Be strong princess, I love you!” It was the shout of either her husband or significant other. Instantaneously her footsteps became lighter and her body became straighter.  She turned around, smiled and walked on. To hear those words in that defining moment almost brought tears to my eyes. This man knew just the right thing to say.

Women are emotional creatures who feel pain deeply. OK sometimes we go overboard with the drama queen nonsense, but often times our emotions do play havoc with our lives. When that happens we need to hear some loving encouraging words. 

 I had one of those emotional melt-downs this week. Stuff just piling up in my mind. Too many people sick and dying. Lots of conferences to prepare for and not enough hours in the day.  Too much sadness and not enough sun.  Then Good Friday came along!  For about 10 years now I have felt a deep grief and heaviness when I picture myself looking up at the cross where my Lord went to be crucified for my sin. I just end up crying a lot. 

I am so grateful for my husband who knows just what to do. I am sharing with you how I was helped; so that you can teach YOUR husband how YOU need to be treated with your emotions are doing flip flops.

1.         First he listened.

2.         He did not try to fix me. (You have no idea how grateful I am for that).

3.         Then he held me in his arms.

4.         When I explained to him that I had no reason to feel this way, he gave me a wonderful answer: “It doesn’t matter if it’s right or wrong; this is how you feel.”

5.         He assured me of his love.

6.         Then he suggested I not work on my computer that evening, but instead he would give    me a foot rub.

7.         Within a couple of hours my world came back into perspective.

It is important that we teach our husband’s how to help us when we don’t know how to deal with emotions or feel overwhelmed with life.  We have to understand that many of them don’t know what to do with all those prickly emotions, the tears and the endless words. They just want to bring out their tool belt and fix it.

I am so grateful for my wonderful husband. I can’t imagine how awful it would be when I feel my world closing in on me and I had no one to run to.  If your husband is not meeting your needs when you feel like your world is caving in, teach him how to communicate with you so that he will help you and not make it worse.  Having a good marriage is all about having an attitude of wanting to learn how we can help each other. It takes time and commitment; but it’s worth it.

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